I'm starting the gratitude challenge. I've seen it on several people's pages and really feel the need to do it. I just signed the pledge and can't wait to start. There are days that I feel angry for not getting a letter or just a 5 minute phone call. There are days I ignore my parents phone calls and texts. I need to get back to what is important. The things that really matter, like the bonds I have with those people. I'm really excited to get started!!

Start Saving Me

I had the most amazing weekend with Zachary in Columbus. I arrived at Ft. Benning to pick him up at 8 AM Saturday morning to be briefed. Then, we waited for what seemed like hours, even though it was only 25 minutes for them to march to us. Seeing his face for the first time was unbelievable. I can't believe how much he's changed during basic. What amazes me more is that while he's changed so much, nothing between us has changed. He's still at the core the man I fell in love with, and he loves me the same way too. We still drive each other crazy with our little quirks, but he's still my Zachary, he's just Private First Class Wight :)

We had an amazing time though. We went to dinner, shopping, and just spent time together. I can never take for granted a moment I spend with him because I get so few. Every moment I spent in his arms, every kiss, I play it over and over again. I feel like we didn't have enough time to talk about everything.

I almost completely lost it on the way home. Walking away from him will never get easier. Knowing what he's going through mentally and physically. Knowing that it's even harder for him to leave me behind while he's following his dreams. He loves me so completely and deeply, it blows me away. I can just see in his eyes how much he cares for me, and most of the time we don't have to say a word to know what the other is thinking.

I had a moment, while he was curled up sleeping looking so peaceful, that this was going to be the next four years of my life. Spending time with him when the army allows it, I'll be number two. I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay. It would be so much easier to just walk away, find someone who will be here for me all the time. In the moment I had that thought, I absolutely took it back. Looking at him laying there I knew this was right. I know I'm strong enough. I have my dreams to pursue to and in the end our road will lead us to what's right. While we're apart, we're making a future together. We're doing separetly all the right things that will make our life better when he's done with the army.

I can't believe how deeply in love with him I am. I never thought this would happen so soon. I'm so thankful.

I'm ten days away from being with Zachary again. The feeling is so overwhelming. In so many ways I feel like he's been gone forever with everything that's happened, but I also feel like he just left with how busy I've been. I cannot wait to be in his arms again, even if we only have 36 hours together before he starts AIT. I don't think anyone understands my excitement :)

Kathryn and I were talking about how I feel about Zach being so far away. She made the comment that she doesn't understand how I do it, that just being 45 minutes away from Brent and being able to see him virtually whenever she wants is hard for her because she already misses him.

It really got me thinking, I do it because I have to. Well I don't have to, I could walk away at any point. I love him though. He's everything and more that I've ever looked for in a man. He's confident, caring, compromising, and he loves me for me. Who I am. I could walk away, but I can't. Given my choices, I'll stick it out for us. I can make it through being apart for so long because as much as I love him, he's not my entire world. I have school, work, family, and friends to keep me occupied. I have a career that I want to pursue. I have this time to really grow up as a person, become the woman I want to be, while he has time to serve his country and become the man he is destined to be. While we're doing this growing up physically apart, as a couple we're growing together. The separation is not easy, it's the hardest thing I've ever done, but I also know that the rewards we'll reap at the end are more than worth it. As Zach told me, "Keep your chin up, 4 years is nothing compared to a lifetime." So to answer Kathryn's question, I do it because I believe in us, I believe in him. I see him as not only my boyfriend, but my hero. He's defending our country, and if I have to be second in his life to the Army for a little while, I'm okay with it. I know that one day I'll be his number one. This time will make us or break us, and I think we're both strong enough to make it out on the otherside.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy. I know it's going to be hard. I know it's a challenge, but I also believe that God will not bring you to something that he's not going to bring you through it. So to make a long answer short, I do it because I have to. I have to be strong.